She walked right in and headed to his room. She was wearing his favorite pair of blue jeans, a designer t-shirt, a baseball cap with two pigtails coming out the back. Trying her best to confine her excitement she tried looking serious as she opened his door. “Hey you”
He was lying down on the mattress he had on the floor. In a pose he had been working on for the last half hour. His hair was perfect. His beard was tightly trimmed. His V-neck t-shirt loosely hanging out except the front part he had tucked behind his belt buckle. He had on his loose fit blue jeans and a pair of black socks. He softly bit his lower lip as he looked up at her. “Hey yourself”
She didn’t even bother to take off her boots as she crawled into his bed. She laid there in his arms like if she was home. After a few minutes she rolled over on top of him. She slowly took off her cap as he laid there almost mesmerized by her movements. He leaned up to kiss her. She started to lean into the kiss but then suddenly put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down. He smirked at her as he wanted to be upset but he couldn’t.
He mumbles “You know I love you, right?”
This pretty much sums up their typical banter. He came to accept this and other similar responses. He knew it was hard for her to be completely vulnerable. He never once doubted that she loved him. He just always wanted more than what she could offer.
She laid back into his arm. They laid there silently for the better part of the afternoon. A million thoughts rushed through her head as she tried not to fight it. She could never tell him but she felt so safe there. In her heart she knew she was home.
She leaned her head up and in between her crooked smile said innocently “Make love to me Karl”
“That wasn’t a question Mr.”
“I so hate you” His smile couldn’t get any cheesier.
“Keep telling yourself that”
He quickly got undressed, kicking his clothes onto the floor. She slowly took her clothes off and folded them up and sat them in the corner as he sat there admiring her.
“You really are beautiful”
“So you keep telling me”
She crawled on top of him starring deep into his eyes as if she was searching for answers within his soul. Her mouth slightly open as they embraced. He thought to himself how warm she felt. He touched her all over as if it was the first time touching her. He wrapped his arms around her as she leaned in and started kissing him. She wrapped her ankles around his and started to lean back. As she rocked back and forth neither one of them could utter a word. All they could offer was little grunts here and there. She wanted to cry because she had never felt so alive. Their eyes never swayed from one another as two souls merged back into one. She started to quiver as he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into a gentle kiss. Their eyes closed as he whispered “I love you”
“I love you too”
She stumbles to get up and freshen herself.
“Come back here”
“I’ll be right back” She turns around and starts to walk down the hall. Right before she’s out of sight she looks back over her shoulder and smiles.
He laid there helplessly when a thousand different things started to flood his thoughts. Quickly his heart desperately tried to fight them off one by one. But his anxiety started to get the best of him. He sat up on the side of the bed. Very consciously she enters back into the room.
She started to get dressed as he followed suit. They both sat on the bed and leaned up against the wall.
“I have to go”
“You know I’m chaperoning my sister’s school dance tonight. I want to stay but I can’t”
“Come back after?”
“It’s either yes or no”
“I can’t do this anymore. One day you’re here with me and the next day I’m not sure if or when you’re coming back”
“I don’t want you to get all pissy. Let’s just end this conversation. I love you. I love you a lot. I know the situation sucks. But”
She leaned over to kiss him but he pulled away. His heart was slowly losing this battle. His hands started to shake.
“I think you should go and not come back”
She started to cry. She looked so vulnerable to him. His instinct was to comfort her. Tell her he was sorry and that he loved her. But in his mind he knew he needed to be tough. He needed to take a stand. She got back up and gathered her things. She couldn’t even look at him. Her voice cracked “fine” as she headed for the door. As soon as the door closed he leapt to his feet and dashed for her. His hand froze on the knob and his head fell into the door.
She barely made it to her car without breaking down completely. She wanted to hate him but deep down she knew that she could never hate him. She knew it was her own fault. She started to push all the feelings inside. She pulled down the visor and started to wipe her eyes and fix her make up. She took a deep breath and smiled like nothing was wrong. She drove off and didn’t look back once.