Dear Dad

Dear dad I write to you
Wishing I could ease your pain and somehow pull you through
You look to me for reassurance that both of us will endeavor
You need me now and I start to buckle from the pressure
I lost my mother and you lost your wife
But I lack the words to make anything right
I made a promise to her that’s hard to keep
I’m trying to be like her I’m digging so deep
I’m not sure how she did it, not sure how she dealt with all the pain
No matter what dad things will never again be the same
I can’t imagine how you kept your sanity the last six months knowing she was going to die
To watch her suffer, to grow mentally and physically weaker every night
You are a lot stronger than you know
I’m so proud of you but I don’t know how to let it show
When it came to family it always felt like it was just the three of us
She held us together, she kept us going and made what we had always enough
I took for granted everything she has ever done, took for granted just having her there
Why does it feel like the two of us are the only two that cares
I know how I feel but I can’t imagine just what you’re going through
You looked to me for faith but you didn’t know they’re just tattoos
I don’t believe in god or heaven
And it’s hard for me to show affection
I have no words to ease your fears
I have no answers but I promise you dad I am here